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Joke of the Day

"*text message* Cat: Slave, I'm missing a box. I had 2 & now I have 1. I blame the dogs. Find it. Me: but I'm at work. Cat: find it."

"What do fat chicks do in the summer? Stink."

"The Scots are updating the perception of traditional Scottish fare. Oatmeal porridge will now be known as a Highland Smoothie."

"I met an award winning farmer yesterday He was out standing in his field."

"Which place has the strongest gravity in the whole universe? Bed"

"To whomever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word."

"What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them."

"Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds."

"Why are Sharks the only species that get their own week? I'd totally watch hermit crab week if they had one."

"Didja hear about this new rum for the LGBT market - Morgan Le Fay? It's 150 broof."