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Joke of the Day

"*walks into bar with camera* Me: Can I take a shot of this glass? Bartender: Take a pitcher, it'll last longer"

"Whenever you see a sword swallower perform, it makes you wonder what sort of activities they used to do to make them realize they had this talent."

"Husband sat in his room throwing darts.... at his wife's photo but not even a single one hit the target. From another room the wife asks the husband : ""What are you doing?"" . Husband: ""MISSING YOU""."

"I would submit a chemistry joke But all the chemistry jokes argon"

"I hate watching termites. They're boring."

"My wife mentioned that she couldn't remember if she took her anti-anxiety medication. I asked if she was worried about it?"

"Dang girl are you the police on Grand Theft Auto, because 2 minutes after I leave you forget all about me & move on to someone else."

"I gonna rank you so low you gonna hafta take a rocketship to hell they gonna hafta build a fence around you, keep the ants from pissin on you you gonna hafta look up to look down"

"LSD makes users lose weight' That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it."

"I was going to make my friend some spaghetti... But sadly he pasta whey!"