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Joke of the Day

"[One liner] How do you make an archaeolgist mad? Give him a bloody tampon and ask him what period its from."

"What spice is guaranteed to make your girlfriend walk out on you? Bay Leaves"

"What did the test tube baby ask its father? Am I a jerk off?"

"Sometimes I'll purposely spill gravy on my pants to give me an excuse to leave early. The real trick is sneaking the gravy into church."

"Dyslexic guy walks into a bra."

"What is the opposite of a meme? youyou."

"Every night it sounds like my neighbors take turns at running headfirst into their walls"

"If I really wanted to end my life I'd probably do it by wearing a Star Trek uniform to the Star Wars Force Awakens premier."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He started eating before it was cool."

"I ask myself, ""How did I get here?,"" I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower."