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Joke of the Day

"Hey, Reddit. Time for Michael Jackson / Liz Taylor jokes! Go! Please. I can't think of one and I can just sense that this topic is ripe."

"I lift the toilet seat to take a piss and my girlfriend forgot to flush and the water is red. My first thought.... ...do we have any juice boxes in the fridge?"

"Money can't buy you happiness? Well, poverty can't buy you anything."

"Q: How many Dadaists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A penguin"

"Lettuce is like that friend you only hang out with in a group with other friends. ""Hang out? Who else is coming?Ham? Great. I'll be there."""

"Why do psychics ask questions?"

"Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A: A nervous wreck."

"What type of government would a nation ran by Alvin and the Chipmunks be called? A theocracy."

"Today everyone will update about who they chose for president, then tomorrow it will be back to what they chose for lunch."

"My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food"