201546

Joke of the Day

"I lift the toilet seat to take a piss and my girlfriend forgot to flush and the water is red. My first thought.... ...do we have any juice boxes in the fridge?"

"FULLY LOADED Q: What did the mommy bullet say to the daddy bullet? A: ""We're gonna have a BB!"""

"I bought a gun from Chekhov... I figure I'll have to use it at some point."

"If my life is like a highway, I sure hope it's like an interstate Lots of opportunities to get off"

"A Brit and an American are having a conversation. The American says: ""Wtf do you mean, 'let's go smoke a fag'?""."

"Real confidence I was asked to write an essay of about 300 words on confidence I wrote - ""THIS IS REAL CONFIDENCE AND SUBMITTED IT"""

"Santa came last night. Oh god.... it's everywhere :("

"I wish I was a baby so I could pass out in public with a bottle and no one would look twice."

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... ...I don't know y"

"Were PacMan and Ms.PacMan married or brother and sister? Have some fanfic that's either really awesome or really disturbing riding on this."