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Joke of the Day

"Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2? Because he said he was pro Bono."

"How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb."

"A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender looks up and says ""Do you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your butt?"" The pirate responds, ""Yarrr, its driving me nuts."""

"Why can't you fart in an apple car? It doesn't have windows."

"I think when a transvestite goes missing their face should appear on a carton of half & half"

"""Here, drink this."" - Me speed dating."

"[ Spelling bee ] Your word is Harry Potter Voldermort: Avada Kedavra!"

"What car insurance do Canadians have? Triple 'eh'"

"He was like, 'We're all slowly dying' So I was like, 'WRONG' and I threw him in front of a moving bus."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill and Irish man? None"