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Joke of the Day

"Cinderella is my favorite story about women who fight over a man who doesn't even remember what a woman he spent the night with looks like."

"The Wright Way ""I think it is wrong that one company makes Monopoly."" -Steven Wright"

"I didn't have a condom last night, so I used a sock... She wouldn't stop complaining about cotton mouth."

"In soviet Russia, shop boys pet you! You're welcome."

"What did the Native American pirate say when asked his heritage? Arrrrrr Metis!"

"The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort."

"What to do with a child soldier lower your aim. someone i met who is in the army told me this is what his sergeant told them, he didnt intend it as a joke."

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far-out."

"What do you call a piece of pasta that doesn't have any friends? Cannelonely!"

"ISIS, meet ebola. Ebola, meet ISIS. Problem solved."