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Joke of the Day

"Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm riding a Big Wheel on the freeway? Officer: A STOLEN BIG WHEEL"

"ME: Off to the concert with my friends WIFE: Say hi to everyone for me [later] ME [individually saying hi to 10,000 ppl] This is exhausting"

"What lives in the sea and preys on mermaids? Jack The Kipper."

"A man went to a meeting for premature ejaculators but when he arrived there was no one there, he'd come too early."

"What do you call a seizure you have while mining? An ore spasm."

"Opportunity knocked today, but just to inform me that he's a sex offender."

"Mi amigo Jesus is a great work out partner but... He just won't shut up about how he invented *Cross-Fit*"

"How do you make soup from a computer? It's easy; just throw in a couple of Boolean cubes."

"I tried to stop cussing for like five months... But I said fuck it."

"Went out to play Pokemon Go, found the meaning of life. It's Golbat."