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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fast zombie? A zoombie."

"I went for my interview to be a bus driver I told them 'Sorry I'm late' They said 'you're hired'"

"The only way that meal could have been more disappointing is if it were an M. Night Shyamalan film."

"What doesn't kill you leaves you feeling rejected and wondering why you weren't good enough for death."

"Why doesnt Justin Bieber shop at Modells? He loves Dicks"

"The backside of women is my second favorite part. It's right behind the front."

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? You can keep the tip"

"What's so good about living in Switzerland? Not sure but the flag's a big plus."

"Sherlock Holmes leaves the bathroom without flushing... After he exits he tells Watson ""I think I am constipated."" Watson replies. ""No shit Sherlock?"

"An eskimo sitting in a kayak was chilly. He lit a fire. Unsurprisingly the kayak sank. Moral: You can't have your kayak and heat it too."