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Joke of the Day

"Reddit is like my ideal woman with double D's"

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"I asked a black man on the street if he could come fix my speaker set up, since he must be good at fixing electronics. He told me I used the wrong stereo type."
"I feel like I might kill someone today, and I'm starving. So clearly the best solution is to just eat someone."
"[the beeping to remind me to put on my seatbelt finally gives up] *looks at driving test instructor* ""finally"""
"What do you call A man in an iron suit flying by the king of the North? A Stark contrast"
"A guy who hates vegans, a guy who hates atheists, and a guy who hates people who do crossfit walk into a bar. And I know this because they won't shut the fuck up about it."
"My friend said he knew of a way to always win in Russian roulette I can't tell you what it was, but let's just say... My mind was blown"
"I don't understand why everyone thinks the KKK are racist. Every week at our meetings there's always loads of black people hanging around."
"My next girlfriend I am going to train like my dog. She will be loyal, obedient, and lick herself."
"I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. Which makes me an eighth theist."