192031

Joke of the Day

"[the beeping to remind me to put on my seatbelt finally gives up] *looks at driving test instructor* ""finally"""

"Hamlet, but starring a pig. We call it: Hamlet. Let me explain"

"[High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? ""No"" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!"

"Why do fish always have c-sections? Because they can't have land sections"

"IRISH EATS ITALIAN Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food? A: Gaelic breath."

"*Air horn sound* *Second airhorn sound* Me: ""Well this clearly isn't deodorant."""

"What do you call a seven course Irish meal? A 6-pack and a potato."

"Did you hear about the stupid snake? He lost his skin."

"Russell Crowe arrested for cannibalism After been asked by the judge did he have any regrets for eating the female victim, Russell shook his head and said he was ""Glad he ate 'er"""

"How many pallbearers are needed at an Indian funeral? 2, it only takes two people to carry a trash-can."