71028
Joke of the Day
"Eat for free at any restaurant by disguising yourself as a trash can."
Next Joke
"Yesterday CNN reported that ""sitting will kill you, even if you exercise"" and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but living will kill you."
"""So why do you wanna work at Petsmart?"" *imagines running out of the store with all the dogs in my arms* ""I'm a people person."""
"My Wife's Accident The police knocked on my door last night, ""It looks like your wife has been in an accident,"" said one officer. ""I know,"" I replied, ""but she's good with the kids."""
"Whenever I see an unsecured WiFi, I just assume it's owned by a chimpanzee sitting in a room and hitting a keyboard with a hammer."
"What did the elephant say to the naked guy? Pretty impressive, but can it pick up peanuts?"
"Hey, Facebook. Dead people can't read your RIP shoutouts, because death."
"What do you call a gay quadriplegic? A tomato. It's a vegetable that's a fruit!"
"What do you call a corny joke? A maize zing!!!"
"What's the difference between dollars and Jews? I give a shit when I lose 6 million dollars."