151961

Joke of the Day

"Whenever I see an unsecured WiFi, I just assume it's owned by a chimpanzee sitting in a room and hitting a keyboard with a hammer."

"Apparently, women only enjoy a nice romantic breakfast in bed when they know how you got in their house."

"How do you steal a coat? You jacket"

"If a man says something in the forest, and no woman is there to hear it... ...is he still wrong?"

"Last night I reached for my medicine and accidentally drank from a bottle of whiteout. I woke up this morning with a huge correction."

"99% of humanity Works on the principle of rocket science. It does not mean , we always aim for the sky; it means that we do not start work unless our tail is on fire."

"Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead"

"What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot, you fucking racist."

"What music do cats prefer? Deadmau5"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss *I have to give credit to my buddy /u/canavo for that one!"