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Joke of the Day

"My Wife's Accident The police knocked on my door last night, ""It looks like your wife has been in an accident,"" said one officer. ""I know,"" I replied, ""but she's good with the kids."""

"Good Friday. No. Stop, I said no. NO. BAD FRIDAY. BAD."

"Can you tell me what you call a person from Corsica? Course a can."

"Yo mama so fat... That when she sat on a Nokia phone it broke"

"What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine? A washing machine only takes one load at a time."

"They should just report when there WASN'T a shooting in Florida at this point"

"Margaret Thatcher died?? And more importantly, Margaret Thatcher was still alive??!!"

"[date] Me: you wanna see what desserts they have? Wife: how about we go home & I'll let you- Me [calls waiter]: what desserts do u have?"

"I get out of awkward conversations by pulling a balloon out, making a dog and just say I need to take it for a walk."

"What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail? ""That's the end of me!"""