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Joke of the Day

"Forget waterboarding... I'm ready to tell this damn popcorn kernel stuck in my tooth everything it wants to know."

"I hate when my kids say ""But mom; it was an accident!"" So were you pumpkin, but I still have to take responsibility for you."

"I finally understood the end of the 6th Sense All those names at the end were people who worked on the movie."

"In my experience, cross-eyed employees are the best deterrent against shoplifting. You just can't be positive that they're not watching."

"Me: Just so you know, I'm DTF right now. Wife: I don't know what ""DTF"" means. Me: Take a guess. Wife: (pause) Definitely Too Fat?"

"""Mr. President, N. Korea is threatening to bomb your birthplace"" ""Why, there's nothing for them in Keny-"" ""HAWAII, sir"" ""Right, that's wh"

"If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Mexican name?"

"What is the difference between a horse and a cabbage? I have never been hungry enough that I could eat a cabbage."

"Whats the difference between a Windows computer and My penis? One has Microsoft and the other is Micro and Soft"

"What did Tiger Woods' dad tell him on his death bed? ""Just concentrate on golf and fuck everything else"""