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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a Windows computer and My penis? One has Microsoft and the other is Micro and Soft"

"Willie Nelson's public statement regarding being caught with a bag of marijuana recently: ""It's a good thing I had a bag of marijuana. If it had been a bag of spinach, I'd be dead by now."""

"ER Dr: What are you doing? Me: I'm decorating. ER Dr: Why? Me: According to my bill I live here now."

"I did my presentation on stools, got a shitty mark."

"What do you call a gay with a large asshole and a lesbian with a strap-on? A wife and a husband. (My gay friend told me this joke)."

"The world is secretly run by old men playing chess in the park"

"Two clowns are running for public office... It's funny for me though because I live in Canada."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Poison the fish, he'll eat for a lifetime."

"There is a vast difference between an underdog and a loser, the first one has a real chance to win."

"If you want me to save a horse and ride a cowboy, you better spare a tree and eat a beaver."