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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a Windows computer and My penis? One has Microsoft and the other is Micro and Soft"

"They say faith can't move mountains But I've seen what it can do to skyskrapers"

"I sent a text to my friend's mobile: ""Lost my contacts. Send me your number"". He replied with his name and number."

"Wife and I go to subway... She says she can't decide between a 12"" or a 6"". I told her get the 6"" sandwich and I'll give you 8 inches after supper"

"Facebook should add a hug and kiss button that way people can have a little foreplay before getting poked."

"In porn, large breasted women home alone order a LOT of pizza and never have money. They've lots to learn about nutrition & cash management."

"What do you call a guy with diarrhea who just had his father committed to the insane asylum? A crap happy chappy with a slap happy pappy."

"what is the leading cause of Pedophilia? Sexy kids"

"NEWSFLASH - Greece/Euro Announcement The EU has just announced that with immediate effect all Euro notes will be printed on Greece-proof paper"

"[Cop questioning suspected watermelon thief] COP: *squints* Was it you? GIRAFFE (who has watermelon-sized bulge halfway down his neck): Nope"