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Joke of the Day

"I hate when my kids say ""But mom; it was an accident!"" So were you pumpkin, but I still have to take responsibility for you."

"So a blonde rips a particularly fragrant fart Some buddy says ""k there, that smells like **diarrhea**!"" Blonde replies ""Oh, well that's funny because I don't remember eating diarrhea."""

"What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer."

"I'm going to create a social network called ""Selfies And Drama"" also known as ""S.A.D."" @MaleHonesty86"

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years... Then we met."

"Sometimes I ponder over things like, -What is life? -Where am I going? & -What the hell is a ""spokes"" person for a bike company called?"

"I bet when they discovered the radish everyone was like ""Let's name it Rad!"" and one guy was all ""Let's dial that back a bit."""

"I got two packs o' sugar... Call me Two Canes ^I'm ^sorry."

"Don't you hate it when you don't know something and have no way of finding out? We need some kind of... global information network."

"Chicks with big tits always seem to say the right things."