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Joke of the Day

"I finally understood the end of the 6th Sense All those names at the end were people who worked on the movie."

"Guy across the road can't get his truck started. Now he's rolled up his sleeves. That's how you start trucks. By rolling up your sleeves."

"ELI5: What are thoooooooose?!?"

"What do you call a sweet advertising campaign. A Brand Muffin.... Ill show myself out"

"""I'm proud of all the Twitter followers you've accumulated."" - none of our parents"

"A good metaphor for today's youth is the book Peter Pan... Kids sneak out. Get high on dust together. Beat up handicapped man, and steal his boat."

"Watch Forrest Gump *feel inspired *toss orthotics out, go for jog *1/2 block later, keel over and die next to shit happens bumper sticker"

"Someone broke into my local corner shop and stole 30 cases of Red Bull last night Honestly, I don't know how these people sleep at night"

"[Dark] What is black on the bottom and white on top? Society."

"What do you call someone who sneezes doing cocaine? A snowblower"