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Joke of the Day

"So, my mate Vincent cut his ear off and his wife asked him why? He just told her "" I guess I just had to 'let it Gogh'. EDIT: removed the u from gogh"

"Can't sleep knowing there's a Toblerone in the mini bar."

"One beer please! *This is Starbucks!* Oh, my fault, I'm Bill."

"It's that time of year again when I should really check in on my friends with pools or boats to see how they've been since last summer."

"You didn't come here to be insulted? Why? Where do you usually go?"

"I came home the other day to find my girlfriend dipping twenty dollar billsin batter and frying them. I said, ""There you go again, frittering ourmoney away!"""

"Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st? Because they have just finished a 31 day March."

"When someone asks me, ""Is this seat saved?"" I like to say ""No, but we're still praying for it"" and I laugh because chairs are like, dead."

"Who wrote the book The Russian Milkman? Ipul Titsky"

"I understand why Jesus was crucified But the crown of thorns is a real head scratcher."