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Joke of the Day

"I understand why Jesus was crucified But the crown of thorns is a real head scratcher."

"My friend told me he walked into his house and saw that the sheets of paper in his office were having an orgy. I asked him, ""How does paper cum?"" ""Why,"" he replied, ""in stacks, of course."""

"I went to the gym today. Just kidding, I walked down the block and yelled at the neighbor kids for screaming while I'm trying to nap."

"Two men were having a drink together. One said ""I'd rather live with a vampire than with my wife."" ""Why's that?"" asked the other. ""Because she's always trying to bite my head off"" he replied."

"Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies."

"Don't Drake and drive or you'll end up at your ex's house."

"Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion."

"Descartes walks into a bar and orders a drink. He sips it for a while, and when he is finished, the bartender asks him if he'd like another. Descartes says, ""I think not"", and disappears."

"Will you marry me? 'Is a marriage proposal' Will, you, Mary, me? 'A foursome inquiry'"

"*Dino-Jesus preaching to the dinosaurs* ""Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."" *Asteroid crushes Earth* ""Dammit Dad."""