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Joke of the Day

"I came home the other day to find my girlfriend dipping twenty dollar billsin batter and frying them. I said, ""There you go again, frittering ourmoney away!"""

"I just threw a rock at a guy who was getting Subway breakfast. He understood why."

"What is Forrest Gump's favorite pasta? Penne (Pen-nay)"

"What do you call space herpes? Star Warts."

"When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile button? When somebody says 'Well done'!"

"Get your shit together, people at McDonald's drive thru who sit there all confused like the menu hasn't been the same for the last 50 years"

"What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow"

"I read recently that Iron Man is actually a woman. I mean it makes sense, he is clearly a Fe Male."

"My Masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me ~ That's the last time I ask for a happy ending."

"How many x does it take to change a lightbulb? f(x), where f(x) = the optimal number of x for establishing a humorous stereotype."