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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? Single."

"Did you hear about the guy who brought a ladder to the bar? He heard beer was on the house"

"I think I made up a joke. What do rappers use to wash their clothes? BLEEE-AAAACH!"

"Luke: Did you get the card I made you? Vader: I couldn't read it. Your handwriting is awful. Luke: I HAD TO WRITE WITH MY LEFT HAND."

"Bible thumpers... Are all the Psalm."

"Why was the Shire so shocked when Bilbo threw himself and Sam into Mt. Doom? They were the first citizens they ever lost to a Mordor-suicide like that."

"2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more."

"Crabs are amazing collectivistic creatures; they only use pubic transportation."

"Women! Can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em or Liam Neeson will find you and kill you."

"What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?"