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Joke of the Day

"Why was the Shire so shocked when Bilbo threw himself and Sam into Mt. Doom? They were the first citizens they ever lost to a Mordor-suicide like that."

"Sir. Your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32"

"How To Tell A Girl Is Mad: 1. She tells you she's mad 2. She tells you she's not mad 3. She sets your stuff on fire 4. She sets you on fire"

"Trying to talk to a girl without staring at her boobs is like trying to poop without peeing."

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."

"How do make a Kia twice as valuable? Fill up the tank"

"I hate unoriginal jokes on Reddit..... said the chicken as he walked across the road"

"Why did Captain Hook cross the road? To get to the second hand shop"

"What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table"

"Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman."