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Joke of the Day

"Introverts should get a 26.2 sticker for when they have to talk on the phone multiple times in a day."

"My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She was livid: ""What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"""

"How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year? At least a brazillion dollars..."

"What do you get when you kill a body of water in a comic book? A Deadpool."

"I'm rubber. You're glue. He's glitter. She's decoupage. Welcome to our crafting gang."

"What do you call a Muslim on a plane? Soon to be detained for flying home to his family in Houston after a business trip."

"Either Narnia has really gone downhill or I'm just sitting in some guy's closet."

"She said that having a successful marriage is all about making sacrifices so I threw her into a volcano."

"I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit."

"Guys with huge dongs are just compensating for their tiny cars."