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Joke of the Day
"I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit."
Next Joke
"Like on Amazon or in our house? [My response when my wife asks me if I can find something for her]"
"What do the Syrian refugees and water have in common? They both keep trying to get on our shores...."
"When my kids get too loud in our minivan I simply race over the nearest speedbump to make them bite their tongues."
"Why did Obama get two terms? Because black men always get a longer sentence"
"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C."
"Two bats are hanging on the branch... -What was your worst day? -When I had diarrhea."
"A son runs up to his dad Son: Dad, I'm gay! Dad: Son, I fucked your mother. Son: ... Dad: ... Son: What the fuck? Dad: What? I thought we were saying things that were obvious."
"Canceling my subscription!! I'm tired of your issues."
"Epitaph for a house cat: ""She died as she lived..."" ""...chewing on power cords."""