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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She was livid: ""What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"""

"On this day eleven years ago, Greece won Euro 2004. Today, Greece would be happy with 2004 Euros."

"What do you call a musician who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless"

"No self-respecting murderer is going to have the patience to stand there for the twenty or thirty hours it'll take me to dig my own grave."

"Incest A game the whole family can play."

"Sorry girl, you knew you were dating a bad boy *saves used gift bag because those things are expensive*"

"Dad: Why is your January report card so bad ? Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas !"

"I used to tell this great joke about homeopathy. But I've told it so many times the humour has been diluted."

"How does trump like his eggs? Whites only"

"What is the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute stops screwing you when you run out of money."