208519

Joke of the Day

"How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year? At least a brazillion dollars..."

"Why don't blind people skydive? It scares the shit out of their dog!"

"I posted ""I did it!!!"" to Facebook and got a ton of congratulations but nobody realized I was confessing."

"Yo momma cooks so bad... The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door. >we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!!"

"Why did the redneck cross the road His dick was stuck in the chicken"

"What's the correct instrument for measuring how fat your mom is? A size-mom-meter"

"But baby, if you didn't want me climbing in your window, why'd you leave the ladder in the garage behind the workbench chained to the beam?"

"I sincerely hope that when I get older my children don't put me in a home or on a stage at a political convention."

"I shaved my legs and now my socks keep falling down. Life is hard."

"I renamed my dad ""Death"" in my phone's contacts. Just so I remember that life can always get worse."