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Joke of the Day

"How many skateboarders does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it will take him 50 tries to do it."

"guess what? chicken but. lol"

"I hope England beats Iceland... Or they will be out of Europe twice this week!"

"Do you want to hear a joke about steak? Never mind, I'll tell you later. But it's very well done."

"""Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin' awesome."" - Pew Pew Pew Research Center"

"How did Metallica get their band name? They Bonded over lunch."

"Knock, Knock... Who's there? Peas. Peas who? *Peas pass the butter*"

"[job interview] What are your strengths? Me: inventing special occasions. Is that even a *I interrupt him with a happy cereal day song*"

"Most Well-known Speeches: 1. Gettysburg Address - Abe Lincoln 2. I Have a Dream - Martin Luther King 3. You Need to Floss - Every Dentist"

"I got all my coworkers condoms and bibles for Valentines Day because I'm praying they get laid"