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Joke of the Day

"Dad: Where were you? Earth wire: Hanging out with live and Neutral Dad: You grounded"

"I'm wearing my Superman t-shirt under my work shirt, which I'm sure the paramedics will find ironic after I throw myself out of the window."

"Just another day in math class Teacher - what is 0.1 as a fraction Student - 1/10th Teacher - good, now what does 10% mean? Student - low battery plug in your phone"

"Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom? A. Three if you slice them very thinly."

"I'm not staying up all night to get lucky. If it doesn't happen by midnight, I'm going to bed."

"Sooo when my husband became a pool man I really thought the sex would get immediately better"

"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."

"Things got heated on my date the other night and I said ""hey you wanna do 68?"" She says ""what's that?"" I said ""it's when you blow me and I owe you one."""

"""My relationship with golf is starting to suffer"" ""Oh yeah?"" ""Yeah.. We're going through a rough patch"""

"What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear? Hearing AIDS"