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Joke of the Day

"So I've Been Making this Joke About Alkaline Metals Recently... I'ts been getting a lot of good reactions!"

"""Your password must contain at least 6 letters"" Hmm ok *starts writing* Dearest Catherine, it has been nearly a fortnight since I last wrote"

"Too ugly for the people I want. Too hot for the people who want me."

"What do you call a high person with Downs Syndrome? A baked potato."

"I'm getting mighty fed up with these sheep-human hybrids! What is with ewe people!?"

"Tread lightly on the path, as we all have a journey to make. Unless you're super hungry, in which case you're allowed to mow people down."

"Where do you take someone who overdoses on homeopathic medicine? A mental hospital"

"I like my women how I like my light bulbs... Not too bright, easy to turn on and hanging from electrical wire in my basement."

"[takes e-cig from guy beside me & takes a hit] dude, your e-cig is broken GUY BESIDE ME: give me back my clarinet"

"""I am cleaning up my friends list"" should be changed to ""I'm notifying you that you should give me attention and argue your friendship level to me."""