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Joke of the Day

"""Your password must contain at least 6 letters"" Hmm ok *starts writing* Dearest Catherine, it has been nearly a fortnight since I last wrote"

"Unless the girl is hot, when she asks how I want my hair cut, I'll say ""In silence"""

"I had to study a book on the human digestive system today.... The ending was shit"

"You know, I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.... then it dawned on me."

"The Notebook (2004) A stranger harasses a nursing home resident with stories about people she doesn't know (PG-13 2hr 3min)"

"Is Google male or female? Female - it doesn't let you finish a sentence before correcting you and making a suggestion."

"After an attempted mugging a few months ago I started carrying a knife Now my muggings are much more successful!"

"Waiter there is a fly in my soup! I know but unfortunately we are out of turtle."

"Shouting ""put your hands in the air like you just don't care!"" is a fun way to bring a party atmosphere to a bank robbery."

"What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer? A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows."