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Joke of the Day

"I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live So I shot him. Judge gave me 30 years to life."

"Women say they like a man in uniform but I've been wearing this naughty nurse outfit all day and not a single woman has approached me yet :("

"What hangs at a man's thigh, and wants to poke the hole it's often poked before? A key."

"British people are always recording their finances because the camera adds ten pounds."

"Was tempted to commit suicide last night... So I bought a semi-automatic rifle and shot up a school. (p.s. for those asking, I did in fact drink their blood)"

"Nan, what is death? Nan? NAN? .."

"If Donald Trump becomes President... then that would server a perfect example of my belief that USA = P2W"

"I work at a women's shoe store Sometimes I tie the laces together... Bitches be trippin'"

"The neighbors with the baby moved out, and now the loudest crying heard throughout the entire apartment complex comes from me."

"Do you think Apple's next phone will be a 6S?"