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Joke of the Day

"The neighbors with the baby moved out, and now the loudest crying heard throughout the entire apartment complex comes from me."

"After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like ""feeding the hungry"" and ""How to thank a loving wife"""

"My penis is like a shotgun I pump, shoot and reload"

"What did the chronic masturbator say to his ex-girlfriend? I'm nuttin' without you."

"What do you call a big debate. A *Mass-Debate*"

"I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?"

"*watches a movie with you* *loudly beeps during all the good parts*"

"What do you get when you are the daughter of Rodney Dangerfield and Aretha Franklin? No R-E-S-P-E-C-T."

"When you're checking for murderers in your house, don't just yell out ""hello!"" that gives them the upper hand. Yell, ""YOU AINT SHIT!"""