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Joke of the Day

"If Donald Trump becomes President... then that would server a perfect example of my belief that USA = P2W"

"It would be awesome to have friends as committed to keeping in touch as much as bill collectors are."

"Have you ever heard of that car with an engine made of wood? It wooden go."

"""Honey, don't try to feed ice cream to the Christmas tree,"" is a thing I literally just said."

"""Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop."" ""I'm a cop."" ""So you're a cop AND a gun dealer? Random, but okay let's do this shit"""

"Luke: Lightsabers cut through anything. Ninja: So does a samurai sword. L: But does it make a cool noise? N: *cuts off Luke's other hand*"

"Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people."

"Oh, man! It really smells like upfoo in here!"

"Why do polish people all have ski at the end of their name? Because they can't spell toboggan."

"What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can hear a hormone..."