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Joke of the Day
"What do Apple and Rose have in common? They both lost jack."
Next Joke
"If you can down 20 vodka shots in 15 seconds... ...You must be Russian."
"Ninjas are like virgins.... No one ever sees them coming"
"Life is like a gluten allergy.. It seems like everybody but me has one."
"Hey ladies, No Shave November ain't for you. Just saw some gal lookin' like she was tryin' to smuggle a cactus in her yoga pants. Merica."
"I'm so old I thought ""stfu"" was a reminder to pack my ""shoes, tie, fedora, underpants."""
"[sees old friend after 4 years] ""God, you were so fat back in school."" ""Yeah, well I lost a lot of it last year."" ""No you didn't."""
"Why did Mickey Mouse leave Minnie Mouse? She was fuckin' Goofy."
"[on date] ME: I like my women like I like my wine WAITER: [arrives] Anything to drink? ME: [clears throat] One glass of very hot wine please"
"I use to have mad cow Disease But I'm alright Nooooooooooooooooooow."