75046

Joke of the Day

"[on date] ME: I like my women like I like my wine WAITER: [arrives] Anything to drink? ME: [clears throat] One glass of very hot wine please"

"[at oceanside seafood restaurant] Me: Is the fish fresh here? Waiter: Yes *from the kitchen, a fish blows me a kiss & waves seductively*"

"Who has the largest pupils? A sumo instructor."

"a lady walks into her house but then the she realizes she does not have a home for living and is sleeping in trash bag"

"Why was I sentenced to 1 year in prison with 6 months probation after killing a nigger? On charges of impersonating a police officer."

"What's so fun about having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them."

"In your will, be sure to write you want to be cremated. The night before you die, eat as many popcorn kernels as humanly possible."

"Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. (my wife tells this joke to everyone and no one but me has ever laughed)"

"That awkward 3 second lap dance you get at the movies when someone walks by you."

"What rhymes with Orange? No it doesn't."