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Joke of the Day

"I'm so old I thought ""stfu"" was a reminder to pack my ""shoes, tie, fedora, underpants."""

"The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it's like excuse me, I'm working here."

"Any salad is a caesar salad if you stab it enough. Repost from r/showerthoughts"

"My friend's a psychology major. He's writing his thesis on the psychology of sexual fetishes. It's not ready yet, though- he still has some kinks to work out."

"I just wished a Bride-to-be good luck on her first marriage. She didn't seem to appreciate my sincerity."

"What is the difference between catholic priest and acne? An acne doesn't come on boy's face until he's 13."

"Rearrange the letters P-N-E-S-I to spell out an important part of human anatomy that is more useful when it is erect. Er... SPINE?"

"A man is flying on a plane Lady Flight attendant: hello, would you like some headphones? Man: yeah I would, but how did you know my name was phones?"

"What do you call the gay A team? The Heyyy Team"

"u could put a horse in a time machine and send it to any era and the horse's life would literally be the same"