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Joke of the Day

"Hey ladies, No Shave November ain't for you. Just saw some gal lookin' like she was tryin' to smuggle a cactus in her yoga pants. Merica."

"What sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother."

"What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown and runny? Usain Bolt."

"Someday I'd like to meet the tiny creature piloting Vin Diesel's body."

"I like my beers like I like my lumber; 2 by 4:00"

"Me: I found a job! Mom: That's great! What is it? Me: debt collection! Mom:.... Me..... Mom:... Me: I think you know why I'm calling."

"What's a porn stars favorite golf course? The inter course"

"What did Sheldon say to Penny? BaZINCa!!"

"Ever heard of the blind gynecologist? He could read lips"

"Why don't debutantes like group sex? Too many thank you notes to write"