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Joke of the Day

"Hi, my name is Typo! It's spelled 'Tpyo'."

"Police: ""How high are you?"" Me: ""No officer. It's Hi, how are you?"""

"It's amazing how much more money I have when I'm drunk."

"Boss: You took another 2 hr lunch. Were you drinking? Me: No B: Tell me our company policy M: Lol, I can't even do that when I'm sober"

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? For the 23rd flavor."

"Why aren't there any B batteries? Because people might think you have a stutter."

"So a deaf girl hit on me today... It was a sign"

"What do you call a gangster who is really in touch with his emotions? An emo-g "

"[first date questions] You like meat? I make killer beef jerky with leftover hobo carcasses...and she's gone Whatever she's probably vegan"

"You know how to tell if your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick taste like blood."