86964

Joke of the Day

"Police: ""How high are you?"" Me: ""No officer. It's Hi, how are you?"""

"When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I had lab experience. I said I was more of a cat person."

"My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for ""minimal lettuce."" He said he was sorry but they only had iceberg."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cork ! Cork who ? Cork and beans !"

"Me: Shot through the heart 911: What is your location? Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon? Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up"

"What's the difference between a ladder and a truck? It's no bad luck to walk under a truck."

"Fruit By The Foot, but no Meat By The Meter? I call bullshit."

"My vocabulary is so poor... I can not express it in words."

"What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower? 'Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast."

"What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world? Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too."