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Joke of the Day

"What did the stubborn Hindu in Pakistan say after partition? Na-ama-ste"

"I hop in a tanning bed during storms in the hopes of being struck by lightning & turned into a lame, but beautifully bronzed, superhero."

"I remember as a child lying in bed and waiting for Santa Claus to come. And how afterwards it would be so silent and awkward as he got dressed to leave."

"I hate taking pictures of mirrors. The pictures always come out with some a**hole in them."

"What kind of bees give milk? Boobies."

"What do you call a shy rapper? Lil' Confidence"

"Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonald's; Not funny, grow up."

"Walks into a room - A doctor walks into a patient's room ...and decides to update the chart. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a thermometer and says ""Great! What asshole has my pen?"""

"What do you call a man with news paper down his pants Russel"

"I looked into my partner's eyes and said to the priest, ""I do."" If nobody else was going to object to the marriage, then I guess I had to."