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Joke of the Day

"I remember as a child lying in bed and waiting for Santa Claus to come. And how afterwards it would be so silent and awkward as he got dressed to leave."

"I wish there was a song you and your friends could sing right after you became champions"

"The ""eye for an eye"" philosophy isn't exactly a level playing field if your grievance is with a cyclops."

"Illegal immigrants can never get a cold drink. They don't want to be anywhere near ICE."

"What did the alien say when his flying saucer landed in a stud farm? Take me to your breeder !"

"Fun fact, clown fish are edible. But be forewarned, they taste funny."

"broken leg I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He said to quit going to those places."

"How many redditors does it take to send a letter? Three. One to post it, and two to repost it."

"Cow jokes.. What do you call a cow with no legs? -- ground beef What do you call a cow with 3 legs? -- lean beef What do you call a cow with 2 legs? -- your mom"

"After 5 years of marriage. After 5 years of marriage I found out my wife has 2 incomes, hers and mine....."