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Joke of the Day

"I remember as a child lying in bed and waiting for Santa Claus to come. And how afterwards it would be so silent and awkward as he got dressed to leave."

"Teacher: Ants can lift things that are heavier than they are Kid: How can a thing be heavier than it is? T: No-[sees it's almost 3 pm] Magic"

"THINGS CHICKS DIG: 1. Popcorn 2. Puppy dogs 3. I can't think of anything else, I'm very bad with women."

"Why did the raisin go to the police? Because, he was a grape victim."

"Where do Squarells live? In Geometrees. I am not embarrassed to say I made this up two weeks ago while teaching quadrilaterals. The groan from my students could be heard for miles."

"I've just been diagnosed as Colorblind.. I know, it certainly has come out of the purple."

"I was invited to a party and was told ""dress to kill"" Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind"

"What did the grilled Seabass say at the Nuremberg trials? I was only following hors d'oeuvres."

"A old saying. Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity."

"I heard a joke about a German sausage today It was the wurst"