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Joke of the Day

"I hop in a tanning bed during storms in the hopes of being struck by lightning & turned into a lame, but beautifully bronzed, superhero."

"I feed my cat lemons. He's a real sour puss."

"people say they're ""over the moon"" when they're happy, but it's a lie; the moon is one of those things you will never truly get over"

"Stripper joke (NSFW?) A man walks into a strip club and immediately gets some action from a stripper. He walks out, satisfied, and says, ""Wow, what great cervix!"""

"The teacher asked what comes after the number 69... The student replies, ""Mouthwash."""

"What is Sherlock's porn star name? Benedict Cuminhersnatch"

"What does a Vulcan lawnmower need to function? A spock plug."

"You might want to read all of my tweets... so that when the movie comes out you can be all pompous and say the timeline was better."

"why do philosophers love the ocean so much? because it's deep!"

"Did you hear about the woman that died with semen in her ear? She didn't even hear him cumming."