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Joke of the Day

"Walks into a room - A doctor walks into a patient's room ...and decides to update the chart. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a thermometer and says ""Great! What asshole has my pen?"""

"I looked out the window earlier and the sky was bright green. I thought, 'I've got the fucking plane upside down."""

"I heard Justin Bieber has an 8 inch cock But it's in his ass and belongs to Usher"

"What's the hardest thing to do in the morning? Peeing with a Boner"

"Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I'd look out the window for that."

"Why did a man throw his breakfast out the window? He was a cereal defenestrator."

"Today I'm 45. But with the wind chill I feel like 32."

"what did the priest say before he ate his salad? lettuce pray"

"If you can tell from my eye contact at the grocery store that I'm inviting you to race shopping carts, you're my kinda people."

"WHAT ARE THOSE???? /u/doubledickdude - They're my cocks."