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Joke of the Day
"My wife accused me of being addicted to drinking brake fluid. I said I can stop any time I want."
Next Joke
"An optimist says the glass is half full, a pessimist says the glass is half empty... ... an engineer just points out that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be."
"Sick eagles are forbidden by law. They're illeagle."
"My buddy's daughter just told me this joke. I am a grown woman damn it, but I cannot stop laughing. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? | | | | | An irrelephant."
"What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit? An anti-hissy-tamine."
"*wakes up from a 10 year coma, pretends to be asleep for an extra 5 minutes*"
"HELLO I SEE THAT YOU SLIGHTLY TOUCHED YOUR MOUSE WOULD YOU LIKE TO UPDATE JAVA?"
"I keep a length of dental floss inside my perpetually furrowed brow."
"What do you call orange juice that looks like apple juice, but tastes like orange juice? Juice Jenner. I'll be here all week"
"I can't stand Freud... him and his motherfucking complex."