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Joke of the Day

"HELLO I SEE THAT YOU SLIGHTLY TOUCHED YOUR MOUSE WOULD YOU LIKE TO UPDATE JAVA?"

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... ...fucking livid..."

"Did you hear? Lorainna Bobbitt dies in a car accident! She was merging into traffic, and some dick cut her off."

"""Dont put all your eggs in one basket,"" is a lie perpetuated by Big Basket to sell more baskets"

"What are pupils at ghost schools called? Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls."

"What's the difference between white time and black time (Warning. Dad joke) The size of their clock."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? [Can be disturbing] The New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 10 seconds."

"Why should you distrust atoms? Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos."

"I think lamps are my favorite furniture. They're always brightening up my day."

"Teacher: Are you good at math? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Yes I'm no good at math!"