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Joke of the Day

"My buddy's daughter just told me this joke. I am a grown woman damn it, but I cannot stop laughing. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? | | | | | An irrelephant."

"I've started my new diet by putting a salad in front of the beer. Thus I have to move it to get a beer. Because exercise is important too."

"My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian, it's like I've never seen herbivore!"

"Everybody at the party got upset when Baby Jesus turned the wine into breast milk."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape? Elephant grape sine theta"

"A significant proportion of public restroom users are assholes. The rest are all either dicks or cunts."

"For Christmas, my wife wanted something that would go from zero to 160 in 4 seconds So I bought her a new scale."

"What do you call someone obsessed with France A ouiaboo"

"What is the difference between a good joke and A bad joke timing."

"Good cop: license and registration please Perp: I'm sorry was I speeding Dad Cop: hi sorry was I speeding, I'm dad."