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Joke of the Day
"What do teenage terrorists drink? Smirnoff ISIS"
Next Joke
"The way you feel while mumbling through that part of the song you don't know is how I feel about all my life decisions."
"If there were no bad parents there would be no good strip clubs."
"I just remembered the fuck outta The Alamo."
"I'd like to drown my sorrows. But I can't convince my wife to go swimming."
"I bet Anne Franke had the worlds most boring Foursquare account."
"How are PCs different from woman? I know how to turn a PC on."
"My wife just sent me a text "" I just bought you the best Christmas present! xox :)"" .....I hope she misspelled Xbox"
"Maybe early risers just aren't as awesome at sleeping as I am."
"You're not fat, you're just... easier to see."