202507

Joke of the Day

"My wife just sent me a text "" I just bought you the best Christmas present! xox :)"" .....I hope she misspelled Xbox"

"It's annoying how mirrors are always all like, ""Hey, c'mere. I wanna show you something gross about you."""

"Biotechnologists should invent a totally transparent groundhog. It'd look creepy as hell, but spring would come early forever."

"A man orders a large cup of coke with ice Upon receiving his drink he began to wonder why his hands were so cold. Then he realized that just ice was served."

"What's the other word for a pedophile with a large hat? The Pope. (sorry if repost, my friend just told it to me)"

"You can't hear me! She: ""You are so deaf. You never hear me."" He: ""I heard you. I was just looking at my new watch."" She: ""Oh yeah? What kind is it?"" He: Six o'clock!"""

"If you're dying, and have recently lost your car keys, take the opportunity, as your life flashes before your eyes, to try to spot them!"

"Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to ""cheek his paperwork""."

"If someone got my name tattooed on them I'd break up with them to prove it was a bad idea."

"Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!"