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Joke of the Day

"The way you feel while mumbling through that part of the song you don't know is how I feel about all my life decisions."

"If horse jockeys have to be tiny just imagine how small disk jockeys have to be. I'll see myself out."

"When I get home from work, I like to pack myself into really small suitcases. I can hardly contain myself."

"Jokerino Why did the tire pop? Because it retired."

"Conversation with my Dad. Me: ""The teacher was talking about strangling a student today!"" Dad:""She was probably just choking."""

"Yet another tragedy struck the music world today. Police responded from a call to a California hotel room occupied by Justin Beiber. When they arrived on the scene, he was still alive."

"We can't deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one."

"Which American president was not guilty? Lincoln, he was in a cent"

"Wow I'm hungry. I haven't eaten all year."

"*snorts a line of powdered milk* God damn it feels good to be healthy"